So I started this blog in early June but decided it needed to be finished today. I'm a little behind but that's pretty typical.
It is early June. We have had plenty of rain. The grass and hay in the field are knee high. So that means its time to cut a first crop. Now of course, since today was a good day to cut hay and there is supposedly a fairly low chance of rain in the next few days and the swather we are using gets bogged down if the hay gets too thick, I am alone at home and Jeremy is in Utah for work. However I have an awesome dad who is willing to inconvenience himself in order to help us out. So dad and I cut hay this evening.
The swather that we use is old. Like probably at least 10 years older than Jeremy. Currently a very large wrench is required for steering, one of the belts just quits whenever it feels like it, and apparently red does not indicate a live wire. But to give it a little credit the swather started right up and ran like a champ.
So I grew up around farming. My dad grew up on a dairy farm, my moms grandparents had hay and sheep, and a lot of my friends were farm kids. I understand how important water is. I also understand that the difference between a good year and a bad year is mostly in Gods hands. At church we are always praying for moisture. Most of the people at church are tied to agriculture in one way or another so we pray for rain and thank God when we get it. However, now that I am older and we have a hay field in our back yard which supplies us with all the hay we need for our goats, I am gaining a much better understanding of just how stressful farming can be. (and yes for anyone out there trying to be argumentative I realize that 4 acres of hay is not a real farm...but if you ask the insurance company it is a "hobby farm".) I am inclined to think of the Luke Bryan song "Rain is a Good Thing" when I think of farming. But it turns out that that is only sort of true. Rain is great. Rain makes things grow. Rain also makes mud and mold. And that is a problem. You can't cut hay if its wet, or if the field is too muddy, and once you cut hay you needs some awesome sun shiny days to dry that hay out and get it baled.
We finished swathing tonight just as a great big thunder head started to roll in. The good news is that it produced very little rain. And the other great part of tonight was spending time with my dad. He's a pretty awesome guy in my opinion. And I kind of felt like a little girl tonight. Riding along on the tractor with my dad, him teaching me all sorts of things about swathing, driving, when to move the header, how to turn without wrecking...all sorts of useful information. When the weather started to look bad dad asked me if I wanted him to drop me off at the top of the field so I could go into the hours. First of all I wasn't about to let me dad do all of the work that I was supposed to be doing and secondly and most important of all I was with my dad. I'm an adult now and getting one on one time with my dad just to chat doesn't really happen not to mention I haven't got to do farm work with my dad since I was 16 and I was really enjoying it.
Now feminism doesn't have much to do with my dad but it does tie in to a frequent discussion that Jeremy and I have. I see lots of posts from women all the time about how they are strong and independent and do not need a man. And for anyone who knows me I tend to be that way. I like to describe myself as a feminist hippie living in the wrong era. But its not quite true. When I see the posts like this from women I agree. I don't NEED Jeremy just because hes a man and I'm a woman. I can do it for myself. My dad could have opened up the field, given me a swather driving crash course and he then could have just gone home. I would have been fine. Not as fast but fine. I can haul hay, I milk every morning, I have a good career and could support myself. But that isn't the point. So many of the posts I see mention things about needing a man who understands that he is not "needed". A man who can "handle" a strong woman. But here's the thing. I could survive without Jeremy and he could survive without me. But he is my best friend and the love of my life. And sometimes when tough jobs need to be accomplished I am more that happy for him to help me. Because I do need him. I need him to love me, deal with me when I am stubborn and refuse help, and to jump in and help when I fail without giving me the "I told you so" routine.
I am a strong independent woman but that doesn't me I have to drive men away but telling them they are not needed. How would you feel if someone told you that you weren't needed? I don't think it's anyone's dream to be in a relationship where they are disposable. And that is how I perceive all those dumb posts. Strong women want disposable men.
But I don't want a disposable man. And he is needed and I do appreciate him. Even when I know that I can do it without him. When all was said and done and the hay was cut and drying I was so very thankful that Jeremy would be home in time to bale it. And when that time came I helped. I went on multiple parts runs, I brought out water and I even rode on the tractor for a while. And I am more than OK with that role.
But if Jeremy is gone next year when the hay needs to be baled you can bet I will do it. Because I don't need a man but I have an awesome wonderful man and I know that do the harder things for me is how he shows me that he loves me.
