He is there if you just pay attention

This past week in church the message came from Luke 24.  Its a passage I have read several times but for some reason it hit me in a way it has never hit me in the past.  It has been on my heart and mind since and it seems that in the past few days I have come across several other scriptures and stories that have fit right in.  There is so much wonderful teaching in this chapter and I know that I will be unable to do it justice but as I write this I pray that God will send His message through my writing so that others may be touched by His word and love.

        Now that same day two of them were going to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem.  They were talking with each other about everything that had happened.  As they talked and discussed these things with each other, Jesus himself came up and walked along with them; but they were kept from recognizing him.

 He asked them, “What are you discussing together as you walk along?”

They stood still, their faces downcast. One of them, named Cleopas, asked him, “Are you the only one visiting Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?”

 “What things?” he asked.

“About Jesus of Nazareth,” they replied. “He was a prophet, powerful in word and deed before God and all the people.  The chief priests and our rulers handed him over to be sentenced to death, and they crucified him; but we had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel. And what is more, it is the third day since all this took place.  In addition, some of our women amazed us. They went to the tomb early this morning  but didn’t find his body. They came and told us that they had seen a vision of angels, who said he was alive.  Then some of our companions went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but they did not see Jesus.”  Luke 24 13-24 NIV

This passage hit me in many ways.  Most profoundly though it made me think of how we often feel left alone and neglected in times of grief.  Pastor David talked about how those who believed in Christ believed that He was there to save Israel.  Although He had taught them of the plan they didn't really understand.  When He was crucified they were confused and didn't understand what was happening.  So often I think we find ourselves in a similar place.  When a loved one is diagnosed with cancer of some other terrible illness we often pray that Jesus will send healing to them.  And sometimes He does that in this life and they receive treatments and go on to spend many more years with us.  But sometimes their healing come when they stand at His throne in heaven.  It is hard to accept the loss of a loved one and I know for myself at times that I have prayed so hard for healing and then that person was taken to heaven I felt like God had let me down.  I felt that He had chose not to answer my prayers and in some way had turn his back on me.  And it isn't just in the death of someone we had hoped would be healed.  When we pray for a new job, or we pray to be relieved of a heavy burden, or pray to have one of the desires of our heart met and those prayers are not answered exactly like we feel that they should be we can often feel like God had forgotten us or maybe we feel that He doesn't think we are worthy of what we have prayed for.  I love that the two disciples that Jesus was talking with reiterate this story to him in this way.  In addition, some of our women amazed us. They went to the tomb early this morning  but didn’t find his body. They came and told us that they had seen a vision of angels, who said he was alive.  Then some of our companions went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but they did not see Jesus.  In this passage what I hear is two men, who when the women came and reported the empty tomb, saw the explanation for the events that did not follow the course as they had thought it would.  They thought that this was the aha moment in the sadness they had been experiencing.  but then other disciples go to the tomb and although they don't find His body they also don't find the living Jesus.  And you can feel the pain in this statement. 

A frequent saying among believers is "everything happens for a reason."  And I think often as soon as a prayer is not answered in the way we want it to be we begin searching for "the reason."  This is a silly story but it very much illustrates the point here.  This past summer I flew from Idaho Falls to Grand Forks to attend the wedding of one of my dear friends from college.  Jeremy was unable to go with me so I went on my own.  The wedding was on Saturday and I spent Sunday with another friend and then was to fly back home Monday morning at 0500.  I scheduled a cab to pick me up at 0330 and I set two different alarms.  The first alarm went off at 0245 and I shut it off knowing that the next alarm would ring 15 minutes later.  When I woke up next it wasn't to my alarm.  I rolled over in a panic knowing that I had overslept.  It was five minutes to 0500.  There was no way to even be at the airport in 5 minutes let alone be able to board as I knew that all the passengers were already on the plane.  I was hysterical.  I called the airport but got no answer.  I called Delta customer service and was informed that because I had missed my plane by personal fault and not an act of God or the fault of Delta there was nothing they would do for me.  I was stuck in Grand Forks and in order to fly home I would have to buy a brand new ticket which was out of the financial question.  After talking to Jeremy and my dad and every car rental company in the Grand Forks area I found a car to rent and made the decision to drive home.  As I was picking up the car I was talking to Jeremy on the phone and made the comment "I better hear about a plane crash on the news because otherwise I'm going to be mad about missing this flight for a long time."  That is a terrible thing to say.  Hoping that others were hurt just so my oversleeping could make sense.  But I think that is often how we look at our trials and our unanswered prayers.  We want to know right now what the reason is for the circumstances that we are in.  In so many circumstances though I don't think we are meant to understand and frequently we never know.  Even now as I struggle with one of the trials God has handed to Jeremy and I, I often find myself trying to find the reason, trying to figure out how all the pieces are going to fall together and how things will be "better" in God's plan then they are in my "perfect" plan.  Its as thought I am trying to find an excuse for God upsetting my plan.  But when I reflect and am honest with myself I know that God doesn't need excuses. Some day when it is my turn to stand at His throne I will be able to see the perfect beauty in His plan and I will be able to feel the fullness of His joy.  
And this is how I think these disciples felt.  They felt that they had understood the plan and then it went much much different then they were expecting.  They were hurt and grieving and grasping at straws to maintain their faith.  

 As they approached the village to which they were going, Jesus continued on as if he were going farther. But they urged him strongly, “Stay with us, for it is nearly evening; the day is almost over.” So he went in to stay with them.

 When he was at the table with them, he took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them.  Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight.  They asked each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us? Luke 24: 28-32 NIV

These verses leave me thinking just how much Jesus loves us.  And He blesses us when we invite him.  I have no idea why these two disciples were "kept from recognizing" Jesus.  I don't know if God did this purposefully to teach them or if their grief and shaken faith were keeping them from seeing Jesus.  Jesus had basically spent the prior several versus with these men who were obviously doubting everything they thought they knew from his teachings.  And so often He stands by us as we complain about our lives, complain about the trials he has given to us and we walk right past many of the blessings that He has put in our lives without acknowledging or appreciating them.  But when we hit that point that we realize how much we need Him and we hit our knees there He is, He is with us and ready to bless us when we are ready to accept it.  Something wonderful that was said at church is "There is nothing we can do to make Jesus love us any less."  We can turn away from him and by doing that block ourselves from some of the blessings that He would send to us but that wall is put up by us and can be brought down by us through repentance and prayer.  

Through my study of this chapter, my prayers for guidance in writing this blog and my morning prayers and meditations I have really come to focus on the fact that Jesus loves me.  He knows that I doubt and He knows that I will get lost more often they I want to admit.  But when I make the effort to return to Him and live a life that reflects the love He has for me He will bless me in countless ways and many ways that I may not understand until I stand at His throne in heaven.