So this blog has been on my heart for about a month now. About a month ago the message at church was surrounding Ephesians 2:8. It turns out that this is a scripture that most Christians are very familiar with. I'll be honest though, I don't know as I've ever noticed this passage before. First of all Grace is a concept that I didn't understand at all prior to 3 ish years ago and now I still don't have a good grasp on Grace and how it works. When I was growing up Grace was explained to me in a different way than it has been since I started attending the 4C's.
Ephesians 2:8
For it is by Grace you have been saved, through faith-and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-
My understanding of Grace for most of my life is kind of hard to explain because really I just didn't understand it at all. I knew that we were saved by God's Grace though the crucifixion of Jesus Christ but that's about all. I believed that I could fall in and out of Grace dependent on my actions and my worthiness for God's love. To put it simply I believed that Grace was given IF my works were deserving. I fully believed that in this life everything I was doing was either earning my way to heaven or putting black marks on my scorecard. Jesus love was there for the taking IF I could just be good enough, and I am my own worst critic so I never felt good enough. I guess I really saw God's Grace as his willingness to let Christ die for my sins. From there I really believed that salvation was earned. And although this is a totally different topic John 3:16 didn't mean much to me either. I have learned more recently that once I confess faith in Christ I am covered by God's Grace and Christ's saving atonement. Now that doesn't mean that I stood in front of the church, prayed the sinners prayer and went on being the same person, full of sin, with no repentance. But it does mean that God will not un-love me and Christ will not un-save me just because I trip and fall and sin.
So after the message on this passage I had lots of warm fuzzy feelings because every time I learn the basics of the Bible I get the warm and fuzzys because that's where I am spiritually...basic. However just one week from that message I had a bit of a meltdown and said to Jeremy, "I can't be a good Christian, I guess I just won't be saved." My wonderful loving husband, who I'm sure at the time would much rather have dropped me off at the side of the road and returned home alone, just looked at me and said, "Your already saved, you can't be unsaved." It is still hard for me to understand the far reaching power of God's Grace.
In the past couple of weeks as I have been praying on this passage, this blog, and some of the struggles I am facing a few different songs have come to my mind that help me to remember that God loves me, even when I mess up, even when I doubt, He still loves me.
Who Am I by Casting Crowns
"Who am I that the Lord of all the earth would care to know my name,
"Would care to feel my hurt"...
"Not because of who I am but because of what You've done,
Not because of what I've done but because of who You are."...
"I am Yours"
Amazing Grace
"Amazing Grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me,
I once was lost but now am found was blind but now I see.
Was Grace that taught my heart to fear and Grace my fears relieved,
How precious did that Grace appear the hour I first believed.
When we've been there ten thousand years, bright shining as the sun
We've no less days to sing God's praise then when we first begun."
How grateful I am for God's love, His Grace, and the sacrifice of His Son so that one day I will stand again in the courts of Heaven and be in the presence of my God.
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